The Goodbye Letter
by Gidella
Summary: After finding out about the prophecy stating her death, Buffy writes a letter to the one person she’s always been able to trust – her cousin Scott.


**Title: **The Goodbye Letter

**Author: **Clandestine (TTH)

**Rating: **FR-13 (TTH rating)

**Spoilers: **Takes place after the finale of season one in the BtVS universe, and no real spoilers for X-Men.

**Summary: **After finding out about the prophecy stating her death, Buffy writes a letter to the one person she's always been able to trust – her cousin Scott.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing; I am merely playing around with some of my favorite characters from the TV and movie verse.

**A/N:** _This is a short one shot deal that I've been playing around with a little. Since my computer problems are still very real no other of my fics will be updated until the problems have been resolved. And while I appreciate any kind of feedback, flames will be ignored. _

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**The Goodbye Letter:**

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Dear Scott,

I guess I should start with asking how you are? Have you married your redhead yet? Like you always said you would? I remember how in love you two were. It's funny, but I always kinda knew that you two would end up together no matter what. You two are amazing people, and I wish we would have parted on better terms. But I want you to know I don't blame you for taking Mom and Dad's side when it came to putting me in that place. You thought it would make me better; you thought it would help me. And I can't be angry with you for that. Not anymore at least. Life's too short to spend it on being mad.

I've changed since that last day we saw each other. I guess I've grown up. I see things in another way now. I shouldn't have said those words to you, and I want you to know I didn't mean them. They were said in the heat of the moment at a time when I didn't know any better.

You're probably wondering why I've written this letter after refusing to talk to you for so long. I guess…I guess I'm doing it to say I forgive you. And to tell you I've always thought of you as a brother, heck, even with those stupid glasses of yours I would still be proud of you. Over what you've accomplished. My little Scotty, a teacher for the gifted.

And I think I should be honest with you. You deserve at least that.

By the time this letter reaches you, I'll probably be dead. So in a way I'm writing this to say goodbye. I don't know what they'll tell you about my death, they'll probably blame it on gangs on PCP or something. Maybe they'll say it was my own fault, I've always been the troublemaker, even here in Sunnydale. Not that I ever wanted to be one, I just did what I had to do. I never meant to hurt anyone.

All I've ever wanted to be was a normal girl with normal problems and a normal life. But I was destined for something else, something I couldn't walk away from. Believe me because I tried.

I used to be a ditzy cheerleader, remember? You would to tease me about it, about my pompoms and about how I always wanted to look good. And I'd always tell you that girls were supposed to care about how they looked. I still smile whenever I think of our banters. You always made me laugh Scott, and you were always there for me. At least till that day.

I could…I could have used your support now. And your logic. But it's better this way. At least now you're safe. And you'll be able to live, and be happy. That's all I ever wanted for you. And I know it sounds corny but it's still true. I love you, I will always love you. Don't ever doubt that.

I need you to do something for me though. Tell…tell Mom I love her, and that I'm so grateful for having her, and you, in my life. You're the best family a girl could ever have. Neither of you have done anything wrong. This isn't your fault. _Remember that_. It's not your fault.

I wish I wouldn't have to do this. I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to stay here, with you guys, with my friends. But that's not an option. And this is something I have to do.

There are…there are things out there that lurk in the dark. And they're evil, and all they want is to make people like you and mom hurt, they want you to die. I can't let that happen. I can't stand on the sidelines and watch the people I love die when it's MY duty to go out there and fight the things that go bump in the dark.

This is my job. I'm the one chosen to do it.

Maybe you'll believe me, maybe you won't. But it's not gonna change things. This is my life. My duty. My fight. And just this once I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to be brave. Even if it gets me killed. Because at least then I'll know I did the right thing. And I'll know you can be proud of me.

I wish you all the best, and all the happiness in the world.

Be there for Mom because this will be so hard for her and when I'm gone you'll be all she has left. She's always loved you. Not because you were Dad's nephew but because of who you are. She divorced Dad, she didn't divorce you.

Promise me you'll take care of her.

With all my love,

_Buffy_

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End file.
